Eph 5:25-26 | KingComments | STEP | . is a connecting verse. On the one hand, this verse closes the previous section with the call to subject to one another. That regards the general relations in the church. To be subjected to one another is a wonderful feature of the new man. On the other hand, this verse is also introductory to the section that follows. From until chapter 6:9 you will have to deal with different earthly relations, wherein subjection plays an important role. You can see it as a practical effect of . Discussed are the relationships between:: 1. wife and husband in marriage ( ), 2. children and parents in the family ( ) and 3. slaves and masters in society ( ). It is remarkable that in each relation the first party that is being addressed, is the party that is placed by God in subjection to the other. That is an expression of God’s special interest for the ones who are placed by Him in this position. They especially get the chance to show the features of the Lord Jesus in their position of being subjected. Wasn’t He the perfect subjected One in His life on earth? You will also notice that everyone is being addressed in the area in which he or she is weak. Being subjected is not ‘trendy’. In the world around us the woman is being told that she is equal to the man. She has to prove herself, develop her opportunities and defend her rights. Thereby the fact is ignored that she can only be happy and can develop at her best, when she is willing to be ‘wife’ for her husband. For Christian women it is not easy to be free from the influence of this thinking. It is only possible when she always has the blueprint of God’s Word set out clearly in her mind. She can thereby think that she may be subjected to her husband “as to the Lord”. Behind her husband she may see the Lord. A woman will not only be subjected to her husband if he fulfills her desires or if she sees in him a man whom she can come up with. She will be subject to him because he is her husband. This exhortation of Paul to women is being made of no effect and even being explained away, also within professing Christianity. For that reason it is important to remind you that God’s Word has not lost its effect or meaning regarding this. The woman, who in spite of all resistance obeys this, will experience the blessing of it. . As so often, God also gives an explanation for this. He has instituted it that way because of the picture that is shown of Christ and the church in the relation between the husband and his wife. You understand now also why satan does everything to turn this institution of God in marriage upside down. Satan hates everything that is a reminder of God and Christ. Everywhere where the husband functions as the head of his wife and the wife is subjected to him we see a living testimony of the relationship between Christ and the church. It is the privilege of the Christian to give shape to this in his marriage. That the man is head means that he has a leading position and that it happens in love. God gives that position to Christ toward the church. To this position something more is added and that is that Christ is “the Savior of the body”. On the Head, Christ, depend salvation, protection and nourishment of the body, the church. It is against God’s purpose if a wife, in order to prove her independence in society, earns her own salary and takes care of herself, apart from her ‘caregiver’. This is not about a believing woman who has to work due to poverty. She deserves our respect. The point is: it is often about the desire for luxury and for her making her own decisions, and that is a wrong motive. Own money and own time lead to an own life. The unity, as it is presented by marriage also, is totally lacking in those cases or has even totally disappeared. . Women are a picture of the church. The church is subject to Christ. Because Christ is perfect in His relation to His wife, the church, it should not be that difficult for the church to be subject to Him. But husbands, who are a picture of Christ, are not perfect. Therefore it is not easy for wives to be truly subjected. Yet the practice of husbands is not the standard for subjection. The standard is: the church in relation to Christ, as it is seen by God. It can then be said that wives are subjected to their husbands “in everything”. There is no room for ‘yes, but’. Subjection is an attitude, a state of mind. Even if the husbands make it difficult for their wives, or almost unbearable, then this remains: “so also the wives [ought to be] to their husbands in everything”. That doesn’t mean that they should consent to be forced to do things that are against the Scripture. In that case they should say ‘no’. But even in saying ‘no’ they should not give up the attitude of subjection. . After he has addressed the wives in three verses, Paul now addresses the husbands in the following nine verses. The standard for their relation to their wives and their love for them is Christ and His love for the church. The husbands do not come off easier than the wives. On the contrary, their example is much higher. The love of the Lord Jesus and of God is a giving love. In order to get the right impression of such love, we are absolutely dependent on the Scripture and the Spirit. Otherwise we could mix or confuse the Divine love easily with our emotions and thoughts of love. You can see the love of the Lord Jesus for His church in the example of the merchant seeking fine pearls ( ). That merchant sells all because of the value of that one pearl. We also find that in the Lord Jesus. He sold all that He had. Yet that does not reflect the whole value of the love of the Lord Jesus for His church. Even in the surrender of His life, which goes beyond what He possessed, one cannot yet fully see that perfect love that is at issue here. It goes even further. Here it is said that He gave “Himself” for the church. He went into death and through death. He arose and ascended to heaven. He did that all in His full dedication to His bride. That is the way it is presented here and that is the example that is set out for the husbands. Then the husband is lovingly devoted in every part of his life to his wife with whom he is connected. It is not about the love of Christ for sinners here. In sinners there was nothing attractive for Him, while here His love is exactly encouraged by the attractiveness of the church. From eternity He has loved the church as He looked upon her according to the purposes of God. He still looks upon her that way. Therefore He did not only give Himself on the cross, but He still gives Himself, also now in heaven. He is committed to her with a ceaseless dedication. His dedication started when He came to earth and it continued when He went to the cross. And it still goes on, till the moment comes when He will present us to Himself in heaven. His love is this: He makes everything He is, available to us, His church. In this way the love of the husband for his wife should not be limited to the time when he has the chance for it. It should be shown, as the Lord Jesus did, always . That is the standard. Now read Ephesians 5:22-25 again. Reflection: What is expected from husbands as well as wives in their marriage

‏ Ephesians 5:25-26

Wives and Husbands

Eph 5:22. Eph 5:21 is a connecting verse. On the one hand, this verse closes the previous section with the call to subject to one another. That regards the general relations in the church. To be subjected to one another is a wonderful feature of the new man. On the other hand, this verse is also introductory to the section that follows. From Eph 5:22 until chapter 6:9 you will have to deal with different earthly relations, wherein subjection plays an important role. You can see it as a practical effect of Eph 5:21.

Discussed are the relationships between::

1. wife and husband in marriage (Eph 5:22-33),

2. children and parents in the family (Eph 6:1-4) and

3. slaves and masters in society (Eph 6:5-9).

It is remarkable that in each relation the first party that is being addressed, is the party that is placed by God in subjection to the other. That is an expression of God’s special interest for the ones who are placed by Him in this position. They especially get the chance to show the features of the Lord Jesus in their position of being subjected. Wasn’t He the perfect subjected One in His life on earth? You will also notice that everyone is being addressed in the area in which he or she is weak.

Being subjected is not ‘trendy’. In the world around us the woman is being told that she is equal to the man. She has to prove herself, develop her opportunities and defend her rights. Thereby the fact is ignored that she can only be happy and can develop at her best, when she is willing to be ‘wife’ for her husband.

For Christian women it is not easy to be free from the influence of this thinking. It is only possible when she always has the blueprint of God’s Word set out clearly in her mind. She can thereby think that she may be subjected to her husband “as to the Lord”. Behind her husband she may see the Lord. A woman will not only be subjected to her husband if he fulfills her desires or if she sees in him a man whom she can come up with. She will be subject to him because he is her husband.

This exhortation of Paul to women is being made of no effect and even being explained away, also within professing Christianity. For that reason it is important to remind you that God’s Word has not lost its effect or meaning regarding this. The woman, who in spite of all resistance obeys this, will experience the blessing of it.

Eph 5:23. As so often, God also gives an explanation for this. He has instituted it that way because of the picture that is shown of Christ and the church in the relation between the husband and his wife. You understand now also why satan does everything to turn this institution of God in marriage upside down. Satan hates everything that is a reminder of God and Christ.

Everywhere where the husband functions as the head of his wife and the wife is subjected to him we see a living testimony of the relationship between Christ and the church. It is the privilege of the Christian to give shape to this in his marriage. That the man is head means that he has a leading position and that it happens in love. God gives that position to Christ toward the church.

To this position something more is added and that is that Christ is “the Savior of the body”. On the Head, Christ, depend salvation, protection and nourishment of the body, the church. It is against God’s purpose if a wife, in order to prove her independence in society, earns her own salary and takes care of herself, apart from her ‘caregiver’.

This is not about a believing woman who has to work due to poverty. She deserves our respect. The point is: it is often about the desire for luxury and for her making her own decisions, and that is a wrong motive. Own money and own time lead to an own life. The unity, as it is presented by marriage also, is totally lacking in those cases or has even totally disappeared.

Eph 5:24. Women are a picture of the church. The church is subject to Christ. Because Christ is perfect in His relation to His wife, the church, it should not be that difficult for the church to be subject to Him. But husbands, who are a picture of Christ, are not perfect. Therefore it is not easy for wives to be truly subjected. Yet the practice of husbands is not the standard for subjection. The standard is: the church in relation to Christ, as it is seen by God. It can then be said that wives are subjected to their husbands “in everything”. There is no room for ‘yes, but’.

Subjection is an attitude, a state of mind. Even if the husbands make it difficult for their wives, or almost unbearable, then this remains: “so also the wives [ought to be] to their husbands in everything”. That doesn’t mean that they should consent to be forced to do things that are against the Scripture. In that case they should say ‘no’. But even in saying ‘no’ they should not give up the attitude of subjection.

Eph 5:25. After he has addressed the wives in three verses, Paul now addresses the husbands in the following nine verses. The standard for their relation to their wives and their love for them is Christ and His love for the church. The husbands do not come off easier than the wives. On the contrary, their example is much higher. The love of the Lord Jesus and of God is a giving love. In order to get the right impression of such love, we are absolutely dependent on the Scripture and the Spirit. Otherwise we could mix or confuse the Divine love easily with our emotions and thoughts of love.

You can see the love of the Lord Jesus for His church in the example of the merchant seeking fine pearls (Mt 13:45-46). That merchant sells all because of the value of that one pearl. We also find that in the Lord Jesus. He sold all that He had. Yet that does not reflect the whole value of the love of the Lord Jesus for His church. Even in the surrender of His life, which goes beyond what He possessed, one cannot yet fully see that perfect love that is at issue here. It goes even further. Here it is said that He gave “Himself” for the church. He went into death and through death. He arose and ascended to heaven.

He did that all in His full dedication to His bride. That is the way it is presented here and that is the example that is set out for the husbands. Then the husband is lovingly devoted in every part of his life to his wife with whom he is connected.

It is not about the love of Christ for sinners here. In sinners there was nothing attractive for Him, while here His love is exactly encouraged by the attractiveness of the church. From eternity He has loved the church as He looked upon her according to the purposes of God. He still looks upon her that way. Therefore He did not only give Himself on the cross, but He still gives Himself, also now in heaven. He is committed to her with a ceaseless dedication.

His dedication started when He came to earth and it continued when He went to the cross. And it still goes on, till the moment comes when He will present us to Himself in heaven. His love is this: He makes everything He is, available to us, His church. In this way the love of the husband for his wife should not be limited to the time when he has the chance for it. It should be shown, as the Lord Jesus did, always. That is the standard.

Now read Ephesians 5:22-25 again.

Reflection: What is expected from husbands as well as wives in their marriage – and why?

Christ and the Church

Eph 5:26. Christ gave Himself for the church. That expression of His love is followed twice by the word “that”, with which both Eph 5:26 and Eph 5:27 begins. This word refers to the reason why He did that. As it has been made clear earlier, His dedication goes further than the cross. Even though He is now in heaven, He dedicates Himself fully by taking care of His church, His wife.

Christ has first made the church His possession; now He is busy in His perfect love to shape her the way He wants her to be. He wants to shape her that way in order to enable her to be with Him in due time. Therefore it is necessary that she is being sanctified and cleansed.

By sanctification she is being fully focused on Him: the church is there for Him. He cannot approve that she would develop any love for or even an interest in something that is not in connection with Him. He wants to focus all her love on Himself and the place where He is, in the heavenly places. He wants to have her interest for what she will be in connection to Him to eternity. He always wants to impress His bride with her being connected to Him, Who is now already in glory.

The result of that will be that she is being sanctified, which means, to be set apart from the world in order to be totally for Him and Him alone. So there is nothing left in the hearts but the appreciation of the glory of the Lord Jesus.

Besides sanctification the church needs also to be cleansed. She is still in the world and that automatically causes defilement. That defilement is cleansed by “the washing of water by the word”. By reading the Bible, the Word of God, you get cleansed; you get rid of the dirt that you’ve been defiled with through your life in the world.

Here it is not about sins you’ve done. It is about things you cannot help happening. For example you hear filthy language or cursing. That is what is defiling you. It can get stuck in your head. By washing yourself with the Word – by reading the Bible – you become clean again. You’re not able to enjoy fellowship with the Lord Jesus without this cleansing. In John 13 the Lord Jesus also speaks about it in this way (Jn 13:1-10). Therefore it is necessary to read the Word of God every day.

Eph 5:27. This verse also starts with “that”, after which we see a second reason of His dedication. Here Paul points to the final result of the dedication of the Lord Jesus and His sanctifying and cleansing work. In due time, He wants to present the church to Himself without her having even a slight spot or wrinkle or any such thing. But this is still about a negative feature. In fact, He wants to have her before Himself in all the glory that He Himself has bestowed on her (cf. Eze 16:14). She will be clothed with His glory (Rev 21:9-10).

The church will be there “having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing”. Then there will be nothing anymore that will remind her of defilement or decay, from which we cannot escape on earth. No, she then will be perfectly holy, entirely focused on Him, Who gave Himself for her. She then will also be perfect without blame through His perfect cleansing work and she will never again suffer any spot.

This is how He will present the church – not to His Father, but – to Himself. She will then totally satisfy the desires of His heart. The moment this is fulfilled, the church will be complete. He will come to meet His own and take them with Him. First He will raise the dead and after that He will transform us who are alive. Together we shall meet the Lord in the air. There our encounter will take place and nobody else will be present. What a great moment that will be for the Lord Jesus!

Eph 5:28. Here Paul repeats his remark of but there is now a clear and exalted basis under it. If husband and wife behave like that in their marriage, it will make their marriage a source of an immense and increasing happiness. Should they suffer difficulties, then they will see in the example of Christ that love has an answer to that. They will see that difficulties are often a means to strengthen love. With this example of Christ in mind there are no hopeless cases.

And another argument is added. The love of the husband for his wife is as natural as the love for himself. His wife is not a functional object within his environment and furthermore separate from him. On the contrary, his wife forms a unity with him.

Eph 5:29. Paul goes on to explain this by elaborating on the picture of a body. It is just as natural for a husband that he nourishes and nurtures his wife as he does his own body. Just as husbands make sure that their body is being nourished and kept warm – this is the meaning of ‘nurtured’ –, in that way they are to make sure that their wives have enough food and feel pleasant.

This we can also apply spiritually. It is important that the husband nourishes himself spiritually, but no less important is it that he also knows the needs of his wife in this respect and provides for it. The same goes for giving warmth, nurturing. She experiences that especially when she feels secure with her husband, when he really spends time with her and really focuses his attention on her, when he makes her feel that she is ‘special’ to him. Christ also treats His church in this way.

Eph 5:30. Then Paul, almost unnoticeably, replaces the one picture of the church, that of a wife, by another picture, that of a body. He uses both pictures interchangeably. With the wife it is about love, with the body it is about unity. The church is also the body of Christ. The members are the believers individually, but yet they form His body together. As members of Christ’s body we individually experience something of His tender care.

Eph 5:31. The unity between a husband and a wife in marriage is not an invention of Paul. The first pages of the Bible mention it. Paul refers to Genesis 2 (Gen 2:24). There we see that God has introduced marriage and that it originates from before the fall of man. From that quotation it appears that through a marriage a unity is accomplished, which

1. is new (indicated by “leave his father and mother”),

2. is irreversible (indicated by “be joined to his wife”) and

3. is total (indicated by “become one flesh”).

Eph 5:32. In this verse the more profound meaning of marriage is given: in marriage God has given a picture of Christ and the church. Formerly that was a mystery, unknown to men. But now Paul makes, directed by God’s Spirit, this mystery known. In case he had not have done that, how would we have known of a perfect unity between Christ and the church and of the perfect love Christ has for His church? Also this truth has been from eternity hidden in God.

The relationship between Christ and the church is called “great”. What is related to this, is not limited to one nation and only the earth, but extends from eternity to eternity and comprises heaven and earth. Besides, there is another mystery that is called ‘great’. That you find in 1 Timothy 3 (1Tim 3:16).

Eph 5:33. After unfolding this Divine mystery, Paul returns to the practice. He wishes that the heavenly reality is reflected in every marriage on earth.

There comes a final word to the husband, who is being addressed personally with the words “each individual among you”. In this final word is being repeated what is said in Eph 5:25-27 about ‘loving’ and in Eph 5:28-29 about ‘as himself’. The closing word to the wife implies that she should respect her husband by giving him the place that God has given him.

Now read Ephesians 5:26-33 again.

Reflection: Which pictures does Paul use for the relationship between husband and wife? What are the characteristics of those pictures?