‏ Proverbs 3:27-30

Do Not Harm Your Neighbor

Wisdom matters for our relationship with God. The father taught his son – and us – about that in the previous verses. But that is not the only thing. Wisdom is also important for our relationship with our neighbor. That is what the father speaks to his son about in the verses we now have before us. In it, he warns his son not to be selfish, self-centered. Relationships can be abused that way.

We must learn that the neighbor is not there for us, but that we are there for the neighbor. We see this in the story the Lord Jesus tells about the Good Samaritan (Lk 10:30-37). The lesson is not that I should learn who my neighbor is, what I can benefit from him, but how I can be the neighbor of the other, what I can do for the other.

Pro 3:27-30 all begin with the advice not to do something. That the father gives his son this advice means that he considers his son capable of doing what he advises him not to do. This is an important lesson for parents. There are parents who cannot hear any bad things about their children. They react with surprise, not to say indignation, if it is presumed that their child has done something wrong. ‘My child does no such thing’, is then often the dismissive response. It proves a great lack of self-knowledge and an unhealthy view of their ‘sweetheart’. Solomon is not talking so naively or haughtily about his son here.

Pro 3:27-28 deal with the relationship to the neighbor and then specifically that he should be given what is due to him. However, it is presented in a negative way by the father. He does not command his son to do something, but tells him not to do something. His son must not withhold the good from those who are entitled to it, while he has the means to give it (Pro 3:27). It is about the rights of one’s neighbor and not about showing charity.

We can think in application of paying taxes fairly, because that is what the government is entitled to (Rom 13:7). Similarly, to pay a debt incurred through a loan or purchase is to give the other person what he is entitled to. In a more general sense, the father calls upon his son to do good to his neighbor with the opportunities available to him. We are not owners of our goods, but stewards. “Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin” (Jam 4:17).

We can also apply the doing of good, or more so the withholding of good to those who have a right to it, to the gospel and the truth of God. The people around us have the right that we proclaim the gospel to them. How will they hear about it if we don’t tell them? We owe it to them because they are in danger of perishing forever. The same goes for teaching the truth. Fellow believers have the right that we serve them with God’s Word (Pro 11:26a). If we have become followers of the good, or better of the One Who is good, we have the duty to tell about Him.

Perhaps the son does not want to withhold good from someone, but puts it off until “tomorrow” (Pro 3:28). The father recognizes that danger and warns him not to do that either. “Tomorrow” is an expression that indicates that something is indefinitely postponed; it is pushed forward to “tomorrow” every subsequent day. For example, “the wages of a hired man are not to remain with you all night until morning” (Lev 19:13b; Deu 24:15). It is not a matter of charity, but of paying a debt. Failure to do so is evil in the eyes of God (Jam 5:4).

The commandment not to withhold good from one’s neighbor is followed by the commandment not to devise harm against one’s neighbor (Pro 3:29). To devise harm means to devise evil, to make preparations. To devise harm against one’s neighbor, to make preparations to do him harm, is a crime. It is even worse if it is done while the neighbor thinks he has nothing to fear from you, that he feels safe with you. It is a gross abuse of trust. It is the crime that Judas committed against the Lord Jesus (Psa 41:10; Jn 13:18). If we have been treated this way by someone, we may know that the Lord Jesus can sympathize with us in this (Heb 4:15).

The father does not consider his son too good for committing this evil. Nor should we consider ourselves too good for it. It is possible for us to abuse someone who trusts us, who lives with us, someone who experiences us daily, for something that benefits us.

There is danger not only of secretly devising harm, but also of openly accusing someone, and doing so without reason, without the other person having done you harm (Pro 3:30). The father also warns his son against that form of harm. Here it is about manifesting a quarrelsome spirit. It can also refer to bringing a suit in court. And all that without any cause. Someone is simply out to harm someone else. The harm can be mental, physical, financial, or even sexual.

In this, again, the Lord Jesus is the Example. He has been indicted for no reason, for He never harmed anyone. On the contrary, He has always done only good. He did not defend Himself against it, He did not seek His own right, but He kept entrusting Himself to “Him who judges righteously” (1Pet 2:21-23).

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