1Cor 7:3-5 | KingComments | STEP | . This chapter is directly connected with the last verses of chapter 6. There it is clarified that sexual intercourse outside marriage is fornication. But how are you supposed to practice marriage then? The Corinthians had put their questions in writing to the apostle Paul. In this chapter he responds to these questions in detail. Sometimes people say that Paul had no right to speak about that because he was unmarried. Such people understand nothing of the special function Paul received from God. Paul was the man whom God entrusted with a special service. Especially the unity that exists between Christ and the church is something that he had gotten as a task to pass on to the church. This unity is compared with marriage. The husband is supposed to present Christ and the wife is supposed to present the church. In Ephesians 5 you can read about that ( ). The comparison with Christ and the church in relation to husband and wife is not presented in 1 Corinthians. Nevertheless it will be clear that Paul is exactly the one who could make practical remarks about the relation between husband and wife because he knew the relationship between Christ and the church so well. That’s why he wanted to make sure that the intercourse in marriages between the spouses becomes more and more like the great example. Before he starts to write about it, he first says in that it is good for a man not to touch a woman. By saying it in this way, it seems that he is against marriage. . And when he says in this verse that because of sexual immoralities each man should have his own wife, that seems not quite a lofty motive. It looks like a necessary evil. However, when you read this chapter to the end, you see that he fully recognizes marriage and that he underlines how important marital faithfulness is. Why then does he speak like that? It is because in this chapter he sees marriage as something temporary. In heaven there is no marriage and no one will be given in marriage. This is what the Lord Jesus says in Matthew 22 ( ). Its validity is only for the time that someone lives on earth. To experience it properly, you ought not only to know the privileges of marriage, but also the responsibilities . It is quite a big responsibility to be married. When you are married, there is a lot expected from you by your spouse. You need to spend time on your marriage. When you are not married, you can spend your time in another way. Not of course for yourself, but for the Lord. Well then, from this side Paul looks at marriage here. I want to emphasize one more time that marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ and the church. When God introduced marriage, He thought of this. Nevertheless, as it is said, the side which this chapter shows, is the side of spending time. Paul is not outbalanced in his presentation of marriage. You will see that there is a balance in the way he presents the responsibilities that are involved in a marriage. When he says that it is good for a man not to touch a woman, he means that it is good to remain unmarried to be totally free to work for the Lord ( ). He doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t shake hands with a woman. Nonetheless, it is appropriate to warn against being too intimate with someone of the opposite sex. Be careful with hugging and kissing of, or to be hugged or kissed by, someone of the opposite sex. Marital problems can arise from that. Jealousy quickly plays a role when being too amicable. After all, the apostle himself is saying here that because of the danger of fornications each man should have his own wife, and the other way around, each woman should have her own husband. . Being married means that a husband has obligations toward his wife and a wife toward her husband. It is about rendering affection that is due to each other. In a marriage, husband and wife have surrendered themselves to each other. Neither of them has authority over their own body. It is not a matter of giving and taking, but of giving. The context makes it clear here that the main issue is to fulfill the sexual needs of the other person. Sexual needs are nothing to be ashamed of; they are given by God in the creation. Only, they must be satisfied in the area God gave for them and that is within marriage. In marriage husband and wife may enjoy each other’s body. The sexual intercourse is the crowning of it. God also gave sexual intercourse with a view to beget children. So it has a double function. Because of the random use of all kinds of artificial contraceptives, a separation is made in this double function. In 1 Peter 3 it is written that husbands should live with understanding with their wives ( ). That embraces the total intercourse with the wife of course, including the sexual intercourse. A husband should get understanding of his wife. She is actually created much differently by God. How much understanding he has of his wife in this view, appears from the fact of how much self-control he has. Because of the fact that people can get certain preventive products easily, the exercises to practice self-control have been reduced. And one more thing: if we have put everything regarding our life in the hand of the Lord, wouldn’t we then entrust Him with this matter as well? He, who wants to learn to know the will of the Lord in this, will not be disappointed by Him. You can find His instructions in many sections in the Bible, like the chapter you have before you right now. . Does a husband or wife always have to give in to the other? No. Under three conditions it is permitted to deprive each other: 1. when they both agree, 2. the time of abstinence is not too long and 3. the purpose is to devote oneself to prayer. There are things that could happen in the life of believers, for which they see no solution. The only way that remains open, is to entirely focus on God and to ask Him for a way out. In such cases it is good to voluntarily say ‘no’ for a certain time, regarding the satisfaction of the bodily needs. The apostle is very down-to-earth and says that after that they should come together again, otherwise satan could seize the opportunity to tempt them to commit fornication. After all, the needs are there. . What Paul is saying here, is no command. He is proposing it, as it were, as an advice. It is not good to assume without thinking and praying about it, that God will just lead our way. Then there will be no exercise anymore in the presence of the Lord about how to discern what to do in certain cases. You see how practical the instructions are. . Paul wished that all men were even as himself, so unmarried. He says that because he sees how much work there is to be done for the Lord. At the same time he acknowledges that a special gift is needed from God to remain unmarried. Normally it happens that a man receives a wife and a woman receives a husband. After all, God Himself said: “It is not good for the man to be alone” ( ). And that is a gift from God as well, for “each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner [to remain unmarried] and another in that [to marry]”. Now read 1 Corinthians 7:1-7 again. Reflection: Are you married? Explore how far your marriage could be more enriched by these verses. Are you not married? What about your desires for a wife/husband: Is it dominating everything; or is it a healthy desire, you bring in prayer to the Lord, while you serve the Lord heartily; or do you think you are able to remain unmarried to live fully for the Lord, without having any worries regarding a husband/wife?

‏ 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Husband and Wife

1Cor 7:1. This chapter is directly connected with the last verses of chapter 6. There it is clarified that sexual intercourse outside marriage is fornication. But how are you supposed to practice marriage then? The Corinthians had put their questions in writing to the apostle Paul. In this chapter he responds to these questions in detail.

Sometimes people say that Paul had no right to speak about that because he was unmarried. Such people understand nothing of the special function Paul received from God. Paul was the man whom God entrusted with a special service. Especially the unity that exists between Christ and the church is something that he had gotten as a task to pass on to the church. This unity is compared with marriage. The husband is supposed to present Christ and the wife is supposed to present the church. In Ephesians 5 you can read about that (Eph 5:22-33).

The comparison with Christ and the church in relation to husband and wife is not presented in 1 Corinthians. Nevertheless it will be clear that Paul is exactly the one who could make practical remarks about the relation between husband and wife because he knew the relationship between Christ and the church so well. That’s why he wanted to make sure that the intercourse in marriages between the spouses becomes more and more like the great example.

Before he starts to write about it, he first says in 1Cor 7:1 that it is good for a man not to touch a woman. By saying it in this way, it seems that he is against marriage.

1Cor 7:2. And when he says in this verse that because of sexual immoralities each man should have his own wife, that seems not quite a lofty motive. It looks like a necessary evil. However, when you read this chapter to the end, you see that he fully recognizes marriage and that he underlines how important marital faithfulness is.

Why then does he speak like that? It is because in this chapter he sees marriage as something temporary. In heaven there is no marriage and no one will be given in marriage. This is what the Lord Jesus says in Matthew 22 (Mt 22:30). Its validity is only for the time that someone lives on earth. To experience it properly, you ought not only to know the privileges of marriage, but also the responsibilities. It is quite a big responsibility to be married. When you are married, there is a lot expected from you by your spouse. You need to spend time on your marriage. When you are not married, you can spend your time in another way. Not of course for yourself, but for the Lord. Well then, from this side Paul looks at marriage here.

I want to emphasize one more time that marriage is a beautiful picture of Christ and the church. When God introduced marriage, He thought of this. Nevertheless, as it is said, the side which this chapter shows, is the side of spending time. Paul is not outbalanced in his presentation of marriage. You will see that there is a balance in the way he presents the responsibilities that are involved in a marriage.

When he says that it is good for a man not to touch a woman, he means that it is good to remain unmarried to be totally free to work for the Lord (1Cor 7:26 ; 32). He doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t shake hands with a woman.

Nonetheless, it is appropriate to warn against being too intimate with someone of the opposite sex. Be careful with hugging and kissing of, or to be hugged or kissed by, someone of the opposite sex. Marital problems can arise from that. Jealousy quickly plays a role when being too amicable. After all, the apostle himself is saying here that because of the danger of fornications each man should have his own wife, and the other way around, each woman should have her own husband.

1Cor 7:3-4. Being married means that a husband has obligations toward his wife and a wife toward her husband. It is about rendering affection that is due to each other. In a marriage, husband and wife have surrendered themselves to each other. Neither of them has authority over their own body. It is not a matter of giving and taking, but of giving. The context makes it clear here that the main issue is to fulfill the sexual needs of the other person.

Sexual needs are nothing to be ashamed of; they are given by God in the creation. Only, they must be satisfied in the area God gave for them and that is within marriage. In marriage husband and wife may enjoy each other’s body. The sexual intercourse is the crowning of it. God also gave sexual intercourse with a view to beget children. So it has a double function. Because of the random use of all kinds of artificial contraceptives, a separation is made in this double function.

In 1 Peter 3 it is written that husbands should live with understanding with their wives (1Pet 3:7). That embraces the total intercourse with the wife of course, including the sexual intercourse. A husband should get understanding of his wife. She is actually created much differently by God. How much understanding he has of his wife in this view, appears from the fact of how much self-control he has. Because of the fact that people can get certain preventive products easily, the exercises to practice self-control have been reduced.

And one more thing: if we have put everything regarding our life in the hand of the Lord, wouldn’t we then entrust Him with this matter as well? He, who wants to learn to know the will of the Lord in this, will not be disappointed by Him. You can find His instructions in many sections in the Bible, like the chapter you have before you right now.

1Cor 7:5. Does a husband or wife always have to give in to the other? No. Under three conditions it is permitted to deprive each other:

1. when they both agree,

2. the time of abstinence is not too long and

3. the purpose is to devote oneself to prayer.

There are things that could happen in the life of believers, for which they see no solution. The only way that remains open, is to entirely focus on God and to ask Him for a way out. In such cases it is good to voluntarily say ‘no’ for a certain time, regarding the satisfaction of the bodily needs. The apostle is very down-to-earth and says that after that they should come together again, otherwise satan could seize the opportunity to tempt them to commit fornication. After all, the needs are there.

1Cor 7:6. What Paul is saying here, is no command. He is proposing it, as it were, as an advice. It is not good to assume without thinking and praying about it, that God will just lead our way. Then there will be no exercise anymore in the presence of the Lord about how to discern what to do in certain cases. You see how practical the instructions are.

1Cor 7:7. Paul wished that all men were even as himself, so unmarried. He says that because he sees how much work there is to be done for the Lord. At the same time he acknowledges that a special gift is needed from God to remain unmarried. Normally it happens that a man receives a wife and a woman receives a husband. After all, God Himself said: “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Gen 2:18). And that is a gift from God as well, for “each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner [to remain unmarried] and another in that [to marry]”.

Now read 1 Corinthians 7:1-7 again.

Reflection: Are you married? Explore how far your marriage could be more enriched by these verses.

Are you not married? What about your desires for a wife/husband:

Is it dominating everything; or

is it a healthy desire, you bring in prayer to the Lord, while you serve the Lord heartily; or

do you think you are able to remain unmarried to live fully for the Lord, without having any worries regarding a husband/wife?