1Cor 7:40 | KingComments | STEP | It is still about marriage. This chapter does not bring up this important issue from the point of view that God had in mind when instituting marriage, namely, as the image of Christ and the church. This chapter is about the Christian's point of view, the way he/she looks at it and that in connection with all the work that is to be done for the Lord. This means that you are allowed to make your own decisions in this respect. You are allowed to make your own choice. Of course you will make this choice by consulting the Lord in prayer, but it is about your own responsibility that you have in this respect. Making a choice is only a real choice if you have carefully weighed the advantages and disadvantages of a certain matter. These are presented to you by Paul in this chapter – under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, do not forget that! In the two possibilities are once more presented concretely and practically, while in the conclusion is given. . This verse is a bit difficult to translate, but what it says, is quite clear. In practical terms it means that a person, who thinks that for him it is better to marry than to remain unmarried, is free to marry. You can actually conclude from the word “thinks” that this choice is made after having thought about it. That a person is completely free to make such a decision, you can conclude from the sentence “let him do what he wishes”. There is no need to feel guilty, for there is no mention of sin. It goes without saying that he who considers this matter seriously, will make it a matter of prayer. All his personal thoughts which will lead him to make a certain choice, will be in the presence of the Lord. . The application for also goes for and yet to a stronger degree. There you read four conditions if you want to remain unmarried. You ought to 1. stand firm in your heart, 2. being under no constraint, 3. have authority over your own will, 4. and have decided this in your own heart. Paul does not talk about the decision to remain unmarried as if it were something you just simply do. Without holding back anything he gives the terms for it. If you neglect one of them, you will make a wrong decision. The ‘heart’ is mentioned twice, at the beginning and at the end. In between, something is said about emotions (point 2) and about your will (point 3). First of all, you must stand firm in your heart. You’re not supposed to be persuaded easily to change your mind. Second, you should have no necessity. That refers to . When there is a desire (which is not wrong) for a life partner, there is a necessity to be married. It is better to marry than to burn with passion. Then the question is whether you have authority over your own will. Do you really want to live totally for the Lord without having to be occupied with the things of the world, of course not the wrong ones. If you have taken all these things into consideration carefully, then you are able to take a responsible decision in your heart to remain unmarried. . As a sort of conclusion Paul repeats the alternatives. He doesn’t do that with words like good or wrong. That contrast is not found here. In both cases it is about something good. Only one of the two cases is better. . Marriage is a lifelong bond. In Romans 7 marriage is also mentioned as a bond for life ( ). The only way a marriage can be annulled is by death. Only then someone is free to marry another person. This freedom has two sides. On the one side, the person is free because the life partner has died. Through death the marital bond has ended, after all. Now it has become possible to marry another person. On the other side, there is freedom in choosing another life partner. It says: “To whom she wishes.” Yet there follows the significant addition “only in the Lord”. That may seem to be a limitation of the freedom, but that is not the case. The addition indicates a good direction in which the freedom ‘to marry to whom one wishes’ must be searched. He/she who wants to acknowledge the rights of the Lord in his/her life will not want otherwise than to marry someone who also wants that. Here in this verse the main thing is about someone who was married and has become a widow due to the death of her husband. But the addition “in the Lord” is too significant to apply that only to the remarriage of a widow. It is good for each person, who thinks that he/she should marry, to make sure that his/her desires are ‘in the Lord’. ‘In the Lord’ goes further than only both being believers. It goes without saying that to marry ‘in the Lord’ cannot be with an unbeliever. Even if the other person is a believer, it is important to be convinced that both of you are willing to do the will of the Lord in all things. For the practice of faith it is essential that you join the gatherings of believers. For the growth of your faith it is essential as well that you have fellowship with believers who live and gather according to the Bible. If in this respect you and your spouse have separate ways, you ask for troubles. Still, it is no unequal yoke if you would marry someone from another denomination than yours, but yet, it is a poignant yoke. When you’re sure that where you are, is the place that God assures you to be and where the gatherings are according to His Word, as you have discovered (that means, where the members are willing to do so), that will play an important role in choosing of your marital partner. You might think, by making agreements with each other that separate denominations might work out well for both of you. But when you both are really involved with your own congregation, you will notice that you both live in two different ‘worlds’. This difficulty will become stronger when children are born. It will not be an easy thing to explain clearly to the children that both convictions are right. You will not be able to talk about the unity of believers, for example, will not really be proven by your own marriage. Children especially, are very sensitive for a life that is in line with the conviction of their parents. However, reality shows that, in almost all cases of such situations, not much comes of the children spiritually. You see that the question about visiting a local church is not a side issue, but it should be an important issue. It is important that you heartily agree with each other about this. . In the closing verse of this chapter Paul gives his opinion once more. He doesn’t do so from on high, appealing to his authority as an apostle. He does that as someone who knows himself to be guided by the Spirit of God at clarifying this particular issue. He speaks like someone who has had his own exercises in this respect. It is not just a theoretical explanation, without any feelings of his own. His aim is the happiness of the widow. In his view she is happier when she remains unmarried than when she would remarry. She has experienced the support and care of the Lord when she lost her husband. With this experience she can also be of consolation in her turn, to others who also suffer losses. In that way she can find a meaningful way to compensate the loss of her husband. Now read 1 Corinthians 7:36-40 again. Reflection: How important is it for you to share the same idea with your (future) partner, regarding going together to a church where people gather according to the Bible?

‏ 1 Corinthians 7:40

Free to Be Married, Only in the Lord

It is still about marriage. This chapter does not bring up this important issue from the point of view that God had in mind when instituting marriage, namely, as the image of Christ and the church. This chapter is about the Christian's point of view, the way he/she looks at it and that in connection with all the work that is to be done for the Lord. This means that you are allowed to make your own decisions in this respect. You are allowed to make your own choice.

Of course you will make this choice by consulting the Lord in prayer, but it is about your own responsibility that you have in this respect.

Making a choice is only a real choice if you have carefully weighed the advantages and disadvantages of a certain matter. These are presented to you by Paul in this chapter – under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, do not forget that! In 1Cor 7:36-37 the two possibilities are once more presented concretely and practically, while in 1Cor 7:38 the conclusion is given.

1Cor 7:36. This verse is a bit difficult to translate, but what it says, is quite clear. In practical terms it means that a person, who thinks that for him it is better to marry than to remain unmarried, is free to marry. You can actually conclude from the word “thinks” that this choice is made after having thought about it. That a person is completely free to make such a decision, you can conclude from the sentence “let him do what he wishes”. There is no need to feel guilty, for there is no mention of sin. It goes without saying that he who considers this matter seriously, will make it a matter of prayer. All his personal thoughts which will lead him to make a certain choice, will be in the presence of the Lord.

1Cor 7:37. The application for 1Cor 7:36 also goes for 1Cor 7:37 and yet to a stronger degree. There you read four conditions if you want to remain unmarried. You ought to

1. stand firm in your heart,

2. being under no constraint,

3. have authority over your own will,

4. and have decided this in your own heart.

Paul does not talk about the decision to remain unmarried as if it were something you just simply do. Without holding back anything he gives the terms for it. If you neglect one of them, you will make a wrong decision.

The ‘heart’ is mentioned twice, at the beginning and at the end. In between, something is said about emotions (point 2) and about your will (point 3).

First of all, you must stand firm in your heart. You’re not supposed to be persuaded easily to change your mind. Second, you should have no necessity. That refers to 1Cor 7:2 ; 9. When there is a desire (which is not wrong) for a life partner, there is a necessity to be married. It is better to marry than to burn with passion. Then the question is whether you have authority over your own will. Do you really want to live totally for the Lord without having to be occupied with the things of the world, of course not the wrong ones. If you have taken all these things into consideration carefully, then you are able to take a responsible decision in your heart to remain unmarried.

1Cor 7:38. As a sort of conclusion Paul repeats the alternatives. He doesn’t do that with words like good or wrong. That contrast is not found here. In both cases it is about something good. Only one of the two cases is better.

1Cor 7:39. Marriage is a lifelong bond. In Romans 7 marriage is also mentioned as a bond for life (Rom 7:2). The only way a marriage can be annulled is by death. Only then someone is free to marry another person. This freedom has two sides. On the one side, the person is free because the life partner has died. Through death the marital bond has ended, after all. Now it has become possible to marry another person. On the other side, there is freedom in choosing another life partner.

It says: “To whom she wishes.” Yet there follows the significant addition “only in the Lord”. That may seem to be a limitation of the freedom, but that is not the case. The addition indicates a good direction in which the freedom ‘to marry to whom one wishes’ must be searched. He/she who wants to acknowledge the rights of the Lord in his/her life will not want otherwise than to marry someone who also wants that.

Here in this verse the main thing is about someone who was married and has become a widow due to the death of her husband. But the addition “in the Lord” is too significant to apply that only to the remarriage of a widow. It is good for each person, who thinks that he/she should marry, to make sure that his/her desires are ‘in the Lord’. ‘In the Lord’ goes further than only both being believers. It goes without saying that to marry ‘in the Lord’ cannot be with an unbeliever. Even if the other person is a believer, it is important to be convinced that both of you are willing to do the will of the Lord in all things.

For the practice of faith it is essential that you join the gatherings of believers. For the growth of your faith it is essential as well that you have fellowship with believers who live and gather according to the Bible. If in this respect you and your spouse have separate ways, you ask for troubles. Still, it is no unequal yoke if you would marry someone from another denomination than yours, but yet, it is a poignant yoke. When you’re sure that where you are, is the place that God assures you to be and where the gatherings are according to His Word, as you have discovered (that means, where the members are willing to do so), that will play an important role in choosing of your marital partner.

You might think, by making agreements with each other that separate denominations might work out well for both of you. But when you both are really involved with your own congregation, you will notice that you both live in two different ‘worlds’. This difficulty will become stronger when children are born. It will not be an easy thing to explain clearly to the children that both convictions are right. You will not be able to talk about the unity of believers, for example, will not really be proven by your own marriage. Children especially, are very sensitive for a life that is in line with the conviction of their parents.

However, reality shows that, in almost all cases of such situations, not much comes of the children spiritually. You see that the question about visiting a local church is not a side issue, but it should be an important issue. It is important that you heartily agree with each other about this.

1Cor 7:40. In the closing verse of this chapter Paul gives his opinion once more. He doesn’t do so from on high, appealing to his authority as an apostle. He does that as someone who knows himself to be guided by the Spirit of God at clarifying this particular issue. He speaks like someone who has had his own exercises in this respect.

It is not just a theoretical explanation, without any feelings of his own. His aim is the happiness of the widow. In his view she is happier when she remains unmarried than when she would remarry. She has experienced the support and care of the Lord when she lost her husband.

With this experience she can also be of consolation in her turn, to others who also suffer losses. In that way she can find a meaningful way to compensate the loss of her husband.

Now read 1 Corinthians 7:36-40 again.

Reflection: How important is it for you to share the same idea with your (future) partner, regarding going together to a church where people gather according to the Bible?