1Pe 3:1-6 | KingComments | STEP | . The words “in the same way” with which chapter 3 begins, refer to a verse of the previous chapter ( ). Just like servants must be submissive to their masters, even if it is an unreasonable master, a wife must be submissive to her husband, even if she has a husband who doesn’t live according to the Word. The submissive attitude of the wife toward her husband is today completely abnormal. In the world the wife is told not to be submissive at all, but that she has her own rights, with which she has to defend herself. When in marriage the husband doesn’t consider God and His Word, unfortunately the wife is often used as a utensil. In spite of a humiliating treatment, the believing wife finds the strength to be submissive to her husband from her relationship with the Lord. Biblical submissiveness is a proof of great spiritual strength. By her relationship with the Lord Jesus she will get strength to be of help to her husband, for which God has meant her ( ). That means that the husband is the one who is ‘needy’. It is not an inferior position when you are a help. How could that be when you consider that God calls Himself the Help of His people ( ; )? It is good to keep in mind that Peter writes about relationships as they are in the kingdom of God. Those relationships are radically opposed to the relationships prevailing in the world. That also goes for the relationship in marriage between husband and wife. When that relationship comes under pressure because the husband does not listen to the Word, the wife ought not to lecture her husband. How hard that may be for her, God’s Word says here that she ought not to do that. She has another means available and that is her behavior, which means her way of life as a Christian woman in the daily care for the household. This does not primarily involve the technical performance of actions, such as keeping the house clean and making sure that husband and children are well fed and well dressed. The most important thing is her mind in doing these things. Does she do these things reluctantly or with the love of the Lord in her heart? It surely will be difficult to keep on nourishing her husband and children with the good mind without her ever receiving any compliment. It is also difficult, even when you know better, to still remain silent. The temptation is great to lecture her husband when he makes things difficult for her again. After all she knows from the Scripture how a husband is supposed to approach his wife. Nevertheless she may not do that. Unbelieving husbands or husbands who disobey the Word, really do not tolerate their wife to call them to account for their conduct. The perfect model for the wife here is also the Lord Jesus. In every relationship He has taken the right place. Therefore He did not lecture the older people, but asked them questions and replied to their questions. He knew everything perfectly better, still He took the right place ( ). That place He also took toward His fallible parents ( ). . There is another danger for the wife to fall into and that is making use of her natural charms to win her husband’s favor. That’s why Peter speaks about a “chaste conduct”, which means a pure conduct, a conduct that is free from the impurity that rules the world. She ought not to ignore her obligations by not giving her husband also in sexual view what is related to a marriage ( ). But she ought not to use the needs of her husband to manipulate him. Because she has this means available and also knows how to use it, her behavior must be “respectful”, that she may do nothing that gives a wrong picture of the Lord and His Word. What God’s Word addresses here to the wives who find themselves in such a situation is not easy to follow, but it is certainly the way to be blessed. Such a behavior does not remain unnoticed by her husband and will cause that he “may be won” ( ) for the Lord. . The adornment of the wife is in external things which are natural for her. It is her weakness to even more strongly emphasize the beauty that she has by nature. In that way she is so occupied with her appearance that she hasn’t got the right view anymore of who she is for the Lord. It is about the wife here as a disciple of the Lord and the question is where the heart is focused on. Is her heart focused on pleasing Him or on pleasing men? She is certainly allowed to adorn herself for her own husband, but she must not be coquettish. She must not stand out by because of excessive attention to her appearance. The true adornment does not lie in the external. You may ask yourself indeed what people notice, what moves them, when they come into contact with you. Do you make an impression by your appearance, or by your brown skin that is tanned by the sun or by the sunbed? Or is it your eloquent speech or your well-shaped body? Or is it the rest and the joy in the Lord that you radiate? As means for a wife to draw people’s attention to her appearance, Peter mentions the nicely braiding of the hair, the rings and the golden necklaces that a woman wears and the stylishly or perhaps even provocative clothing. He warns that this should not be so for the believing wife ( ). . All outward adornment is corruptible, transient. The hidden person, the “gentle and quiet spirit”, is not transient, but everlasting. That is precious to God and therefore imperishable. It is about things that remain and not about things that are transient. We live in a time wherein external beauty is adored. It is considered important how you come across. Do not focus on a youthful beauty. That is just temporary. Realize well that the outer man is decaying. By growing older all youthful beauty fades away and turns into wrinkles. Therefore it is important to realize that God sees the heart. The most beautiful thing about a man is his inner beauty that consists of a gentle and quiet spirit. Someone’s character is much more the true man than his appearance. You can learn gentleness from the Lord Jesus ( ). A quiet spirit is also typical of Him, Who also inwardly never resisted against the circumstances in which He was. . This imperishable adornment is not an invention for the time Peter and his readers live in. In former times this was the adornment of women who did not live for here and now, but for the future. That means that it is about timeless matters here. These women are called “holy women”, for they lived in separation from the world and focused on God, in Whom they “hoped” for the future. Such a mind of separation from the world and hope in God is still important today as it was in those days. If you possess that, it is not difficult to be submissive. Your conduct will then be determined by what God has said. He is more than worthy of your trust. If He has determined your place in marriage as a place of submission and you really take that place, the true adornment becomes visible, “which is precious in the sight of God”. . From the ‘holy women’ from the past Peter mentions an example. He points to Sarah and says about her that she “obeyed Abraham, calling him lord” ( ). This example is not meant to make known that the wife should address her husband as ‘lord’. The point is that Sarah felt no shame to call her husband ‘lord’. The purpose of this example is to show that the wife should show toward her husband an attitude of owed respect. The fact that she obeyed him also does not mean that she was his servant. The submission or obedience of a wife doesn’t mean that a husband ought not to listen to his wife. Wives are given to their husbands to keep them from foolishness. We also have an example of that from the life of Abraham. Sarah once told him to do something. When he refused to listen to her, God told him that he had to listen to her ( ). This example is an illustration of the relationships in the marriage of the Christian and here it is specifically of the Christian woman. If she adopts the attitude toward her husband that Sarah adopted toward Abraham, she resembles Sarah spiritually and therefore can be called one of “her children”. She therefore shows her nature and mindset. Therefore wives who follow Sarah in this, will also show that by doing right. Thereby they do not have to be “frightened by any fear”, for they who do right and therein do the will of the Lord, can be sure to be guarded by God. Now read 1 Peter 3:1-6 again. Reflection: What do you like most about a Godly wife?

‏ 1 Peter 3:1-6

The Wife in Marriage

1Pet 3:1. The words “in the same way” with which chapter 3 begins, refer to a verse of the previous chapter (1Pet 2:18). Just like servants must be submissive to their masters, even if it is an unreasonable master, a wife must be submissive to her husband, even if she has a husband who doesn’t live according to the Word. The submissive attitude of the wife toward her husband is today completely abnormal. In the world the wife is told not to be submissive at all, but that she has her own rights, with which she has to defend herself.

When in marriage the husband doesn’t consider God and His Word, unfortunately the wife is often used as a utensil. In spite of a humiliating treatment, the believing wife finds the strength to be submissive to her husband from her relationship with the Lord. Biblical submissiveness is a proof of great spiritual strength.

By her relationship with the Lord Jesus she will get strength to be of help to her husband, for which God has meant her (Gen 2:18). That means that the husband is the one who is ‘needy’. It is not an inferior position when you are a help. How could that be when you consider that God calls Himself the Help of His people (Deu 33:7; Psa 33:20)?

It is good to keep in mind that Peter writes about relationships as they are in the kingdom of God. Those relationships are radically opposed to the relationships prevailing in the world. That also goes for the relationship in marriage between husband and wife. When that relationship comes under pressure because the husband does not listen to the Word, the wife ought not to lecture her husband. How hard that may be for her, God’s Word says here that she ought not to do that.

She has another means available and that is her behavior, which means her way of life as a Christian woman in the daily care for the household. This does not primarily involve the technical performance of actions, such as keeping the house clean and making sure that husband and children are well fed and well dressed. The most important thing is her mind in doing these things. Does she do these things reluctantly or with the love of the Lord in her heart?

It surely will be difficult to keep on nourishing her husband and children with the good mind without her ever receiving any compliment. It is also difficult, even when you know better, to still remain silent. The temptation is great to lecture her husband when he makes things difficult for her again. After all she knows from the Scripture how a husband is supposed to approach his wife. Nevertheless she may not do that. Unbelieving husbands or husbands who disobey the Word, really do not tolerate their wife to call them to account for their conduct.

The perfect model for the wife here is also the Lord Jesus. In every relationship He has taken the right place. Therefore He did not lecture the older people, but asked them questions and replied to their questions. He knew everything perfectly better, still He took the right place (Lk 2:47). That place He also took toward His fallible parents (Lk 2:51).

1Pet 3:2. There is another danger for the wife to fall into and that is making use of her natural charms to win her husband’s favor. That’s why Peter speaks about a “chaste conduct”, which means a pure conduct, a conduct that is free from the impurity that rules the world. She ought not to ignore her obligations by not giving her husband also in sexual view what is related to a marriage (1Cor 7:3-5). But she ought not to use the needs of her husband to manipulate him.

Because she has this means available and also knows how to use it, her behavior must be “respectful”, that she may do nothing that gives a wrong picture of the Lord and His Word. What God’s Word addresses here to the wives who find themselves in such a situation is not easy to follow, but it is certainly the way to be blessed. Such a behavior does not remain unnoticed by her husband and will cause that he “may be won” (1Pet 3:1) for the Lord.

1Pet 3:3. The adornment of the wife is in external things which are natural for her. It is her weakness to even more strongly emphasize the beauty that she has by nature. In that way she is so occupied with her appearance that she hasn’t got the right view anymore of who she is for the Lord. It is about the wife here as a disciple of the Lord and the question is where the heart is focused on. Is her heart focused on pleasing Him or on pleasing men? She is certainly allowed to adorn herself for her own husband, but she must not be coquettish. She must not stand out by because of excessive attention to her appearance. The true adornment does not lie in the external.

You may ask yourself indeed what people notice, what moves them, when they come into contact with you. Do you make an impression by your appearance, or by your brown skin that is tanned by the sun or by the sunbed? Or is it your eloquent speech or your well-shaped body? Or is it the rest and the joy in the Lord that you radiate?

As means for a wife to draw people’s attention to her appearance, Peter mentions the nicely braiding of the hair, the rings and the golden necklaces that a woman wears and the stylishly or perhaps even provocative clothing. He warns that this should not be so for the believing wife (1Tim 2:9-11).

1Pet 3:4. All outward adornment is corruptible, transient. The hidden person, the “gentle and quiet spirit”, is not transient, but everlasting. That is precious to God and therefore imperishable. It is about things that remain and not about things that are transient.

We live in a time wherein external beauty is adored. It is considered important how you come across. Do not focus on a youthful beauty. That is just temporary. Realize well that the outer man is decaying. By growing older all youthful beauty fades away and turns into wrinkles. Therefore it is important to realize that God sees the heart.

The most beautiful thing about a man is his inner beauty that consists of a gentle and quiet spirit. Someone’s character is much more the true man than his appearance. You can learn gentleness from the Lord Jesus (Mt 11:29). A quiet spirit is also typical of Him, Who also inwardly never resisted against the circumstances in which He was.

1Pet 3:5. This imperishable adornment is not an invention for the time Peter and his readers live in. In former times this was the adornment of women who did not live for here and now, but for the future. That means that it is about timeless matters here. These women are called “holy women”, for they lived in separation from the world and focused on God, in Whom they “hoped” for the future.

Such a mind of separation from the world and hope in God is still important today as it was in those days. If you possess that, it is not difficult to be submissive. Your conduct will then be determined by what God has said. He is more than worthy of your trust. If He has determined your place in marriage as a place of submission and you really take that place, the true adornment becomes visible, “which is precious in the sight of God”.

1Pet 3:6. From the ‘holy women’ from the past Peter mentions an example. He points to Sarah and says about her that she “obeyed Abraham, calling him lord” (Gen 18:12). This example is not meant to make known that the wife should address her husband as ‘lord’. The point is that Sarah felt no shame to call her husband ‘lord’. The purpose of this example is to show that the wife should show toward her husband an attitude of owed respect. The fact that she obeyed him also does not mean that she was his servant.

The submission or obedience of a wife doesn’t mean that a husband ought not to listen to his wife. Wives are given to their husbands to keep them from foolishness. We also have an example of that from the life of Abraham. Sarah once told him to do something. When he refused to listen to her, God told him that he had to listen to her (Gen 21:12).

This example is an illustration of the relationships in the marriage of the Christian and here it is specifically of the Christian woman. If she adopts the attitude toward her husband that Sarah adopted toward Abraham, she resembles Sarah spiritually and therefore can be called one of “her children”. She therefore shows her nature and mindset. Therefore wives who follow Sarah in this, will also show that by doing right. Thereby they do not have to be “frightened by any fear”, for they who do right and therein do the will of the Lord, can be sure to be guarded by God.

Now read 1 Peter 3:1-6 again.

Reflection: What do you like most about a Godly wife?