2Sa 13:1-14 | KingComments | STEP | The two sins committed by David, adultery and murder, are both found in this chapter in his house. He has sown for his own flesh and “from the flesh reaps corruption” ( ; cf. ). It is a chapter full of sorrow for David. A moment of thoughtless sinning can result in years of crying bitter tears. At the same time, we may know that God can turn those bitter tears into a rainbow. In this chapter the announced sword ( ) in his house begins to do its judgmental work. A man, a son of his house, his eldest son, rapes his daughter. Another son, one of his favorites, kills the rapist. Later this son will rebel against him and be killed. Amnon is his eldest son, the crown prince. The third son is Absalom. He loses his first-born son and also the second oldest sons – if we exclude Chileab who probably died young ( ). By committing his sins, something has come into David’s family that breaks the already fragile family bond even more. He has no discernment in the case of Amnon’s dark plans with Tamar. He is also unable to act against it because his spiritual power and his spiritual insight have been greatly diminished by his life in sin. Maybe he also feels he’s become implausible to say something about the sins of his children. The sin we have committed ourselves makes it difficult to strongly condemn another person’s sin. We see this here too. David does not act against Amnon nor against Absalom. The consequences of sins are not automatic. They don’t just come over his house. Every sin in his home takes place under his responsibility. If he had been strong, he could have prevented those consequences. The judgment comes from God, yet David himself is responsible. We see that David is no longer the same man as before his sins. He is blind to certain things. He does not understand anything of the intentions of Amnon nor of those of Absalom. If sin has wrought devastation in the life of a believer, one consequence is that one is no longer the same person as before. We learn here that children are the weakness of their parents. There is no area where we are so weak as when it comes to our children. Many parents have come on wrong paths because they have recognized and acknowledged their children’s sins so little. Sometimes they’ve even seen those sins, but haven’t acted against them or even defended them. Many people can judge sharply when it comes to others, but when it comes to their own children, they no longer see so sharply and sometimes even defend sin. The introductory words “now it was after this” show that what follows, connects to the foregoing. In this case, what happens “after” is not only a sequel to the previous, but also a consequence thereof. In the events described, too, we see that one thing is the result of another. First we are introduced to the ‘protagonists’ in . They are two sons of David, a daughter of David and David himself. It is about a family drama. The drama begins with a young man falling in love with his beautiful half-sister. There is nothing to be seen of any fear of God in this son of David. If it had been there, he would directly have judged his evil lusts in himself. However, he does not follow his father in the good example that David also gave, but in the evil example that he unfortunately also gave. David has not been able to curb his lusts. His son goes even further in his sexual sinfulness. The young man’s love is so great that it makes him sick. This love is a purely selfish matter, only directed to self-satisfaction. It is strictly forbidden by law to have sexual intercourse with a sister or half-sister ( ). This rule of the law and also the continuation of the history make it clear that this is not a question of love, but only of self-generated sexual lusts. Sexual desires are given by God, but they may only be experienced in the bond of marriage and love. Of course, Tamar is not to blame. The fact that “it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her” does not mean that he has any sense of respect for her. The sequel shows that for him she is nothing more than a lust object. That it seems hard to do anything to her perhaps means that it is impossible for him to come to her, because she lives, because she is a virgin, in the women’s enclosure.

‏ 2 Samuel 13:1-14

Introduction

The two sins committed by David, adultery and murder, are both found in this chapter in his house. He has sown for his own flesh and “from the flesh reaps corruption” (Gal 6:8a; cf. Jer 4:18). It is a chapter full of sorrow for David. A moment of thoughtless sinning can result in years of crying bitter tears. At the same time, we may know that God can turn those bitter tears into a rainbow.

In this chapter the announced sword (2Sam 12:9-10) in his house begins to do its judgmental work. A man, a son of his house, his eldest son, rapes his daughter. Another son, one of his favorites, kills the rapist. Later this son will rebel against him and be killed. Amnon is his eldest son, the crown prince. The third son is Absalom. He loses his first-born son and also the second oldest sons – if we exclude Chileab who probably died young (2Sam 3:2-3).

By committing his sins, something has come into David’s family that breaks the already fragile family bond even more. He has no discernment in the case of Amnon’s dark plans with Tamar. He is also unable to act against it because his spiritual power and his spiritual insight have been greatly diminished by his life in sin. Maybe he also feels he’s become implausible to say something about the sins of his children.

The sin we have committed ourselves makes it difficult to strongly condemn another person’s sin. We see this here too. David does not act against Amnon nor against Absalom. The consequences of sins are not automatic. They don’t just come over his house. Every sin in his home takes place under his responsibility. If he had been strong, he could have prevented those consequences. The judgment comes from God, yet David himself is responsible.

We see that David is no longer the same man as before his sins. He is blind to certain things. He does not understand anything of the intentions of Amnon nor of those of Absalom. If sin has wrought devastation in the life of a believer, one consequence is that one is no longer the same person as before.

We learn here that children are the weakness of their parents. There is no area where we are so weak as when it comes to our children. Many parents have come on wrong paths because they have recognized and acknowledged their children’s sins so little. Sometimes they’ve even seen those sins, but haven’t acted against them or even defended them. Many people can judge sharply when it comes to others, but when it comes to their own children, they no longer see so sharply and sometimes even defend sin.

Amnon Covets Tamar

The introductory words “now it was after this” show that what follows, connects to the foregoing. In this case, what happens “after” is not only a sequel to the previous, but also a consequence thereof. In the events described, too, we see that one thing is the result of another.

First we are introduced to the ‘protagonists’ in 2Sam 13:1. They are two sons of David, a daughter of David and David himself. It is about a family drama.

The drama begins with a young man falling in love with his beautiful half-sister. There is nothing to be seen of any fear of God in this son of David. If it had been there, he would directly have judged his evil lusts in himself. However, he does not follow his father in the good example that David also gave, but in the evil example that he unfortunately also gave. David has not been able to curb his lusts. His son goes even further in his sexual sinfulness. The young man’s love is so great that it makes him sick. This love is a purely selfish matter, only directed to self-satisfaction.

It is strictly forbidden by law to have sexual intercourse with a sister or half-sister (Lev 18:9 ; Lev 20:17). This rule of the law and also the continuation of the history make it clear that this is not a question of love, but only of self-generated sexual lusts. Sexual desires are given by God, but they may only be experienced in the bond of marriage and love. Of course, Tamar is not to blame.

The fact that “it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her” does not mean that he has any sense of respect for her. The sequel shows that for him she is nothing more than a lust object. That it seems hard to do anything to her perhaps means that it is impossible for him to come to her, because she lives, because she is a virgin, in the women’s enclosure.

Amnon Gets Advice From a Friend

Amnon has a friend. A good friend is worth a lot, especially if that friend is also “a very shrewd man”. However, Amnon’s friend is a cunning friend, and his shrewdness or wisdom “is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but it is … demonic” (Jam 3:15). He is also a member of David’s family and plays an important role in this family drama. This is evident from the way he addresses Amnon and the advice he gives him.

Jonadab speaks to Amnon about his sense of honor and the power he still has: ‘Amnon, why are you so miserable every morning, if you are the son of the king? You can have all the fun you want, can’t you? You only have to snap with your fingers and your wishes will be fulfilled’. It is the way in which Jezebel addresses her husband Ahab, when he also wants something in which he is thwarted (1Kgs 21:7).

At his friend’s invitation to tell him what’s wrong with it, Amnon tells him that he loves Tamar. He is totally blind to the completely misplaced use of the word ‘love’. For Jonadab, ‘loving’ is also a hollow concept. He knows that Amnon is only interested in the body of Tamar. He advises him to pretend he is ill and then ask his father to send Tamar to him to prepare some food for him. He adds that she must prepare this food “in my sight” and that he will “eat from her hand”. With this cunning proposal, Amnon will be able to look at her closely and she will have to get close to him.

Amnon Asks David for Tamar

Amnon follows his friend’s advice. David has not understood anything of the real intentions of Amnon. Although he has experienced what is in a person’s heart, he is blind to what his son wants. An important lesson is that we ask the Lord to give us an eye for what is going on in our children and that He makes us feel what the real motives are when they ask something of us. We must learn to go to Him first before we agree. On the one hand, it is necessary that we be preserved from a suspicious attitude. On the other hand, it is also necessary that we be preserved from a foolhardy kind of confidence, as if our children were incapable to commit certain sins.

Joseph also once said what Amnon says in 2Sam 13:9 (Gen 45:1). Joseph said it at the height of his history. Amnon says it at the lowest point of his history.

Amnon Violates Tamar

When Tamar brings the food to him, the lust breaks loose. His lust prevails so much that he grabs her instead of the food. He first tries to get her to lie in bed with him of her own accord. Tamar wants to bring him to other thoughts. First she points out to him that such an act should be unheard of in Israel. Then she tells him what a shame he would bring upon her. Then she shows him what the consequences of his deed will be for himself. Finally, she offers another solution to be connected to each other and that is that he asks the king if he can have her. It is all in vain. “However, he would not listen to her; since he was stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her” (2Sam 13:14).