2Sa 13:22-29 | KingComments | STEP | David is the absent father. Tamar does not go to him, but to her brother Absalom. When she comes to him, he immediately suspects what happened. He must have noticed how Amnon thought about Tamar. He may also have seen how he looked at her. Amnon’s deed did not come out of the blue. Was Amnon perhaps known as a sexual rake? While in Absalom plans may already arise to avenge himself, he advises his sister not to publicize it any further. She should not take this matter to heart either. This is the advice of people who have their own ideas about solving problems and do not care about God’s judgment of them. Tamar seems to follow the advice and moves into her brother’s house. There she stays as a lonely and abandoned woman whose joy of life has turned into a hopeless wilderness. When David hears of it, he is very angry ( ), but that’s all (cf. ). Nothing else comes out of his anger. He has no power to act against his son, the crown prince. Even parents of little children often have so little to say about their children. It is not about children receiving authoritarian education, but about them being brought up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” ( ). Children are not won by exercising pure force, but by love. The Lord gives us children so that we may teach them through loving authority how to submit to His loving authority. David is responsible for everything that happens in his home. The judgment comes not only because of his sin with Bathsheba, but also because of his sin of negligence not to act against the evil in his family. Amnon is an unscrupulous man who knows no love. Absalom is no different. Both of them know only one kind of love and that is the love for themselves. Absalom is not only without love, but he is also cunning, mean, and can wait, if necessary two full years ( ). During this waiting period, the feelings of hatred remain burning in all their intensity. Meanwhile he doesn’t show any of these feelings in his dealings with Amnon. Absalom does not show anything at all, “either good or bad”. He meets the desired courtesies, without showing anything of what occupies him. If he has spoken a kind word at all, it has only been a camouflage of what lives in his heart ( ; ). In this way, family members and members of the family of God can interact with each other in a way that is correct, but not more than that. What essentially binds them does not matter. The relationships are dominated by events that are not talked about, but in which the senses are set on a counteraction.

‏ 2 Samuel 13:22-29

Reactions of Absalom and David

David is the absent father. Tamar does not go to him, but to her brother Absalom. When she comes to him, he immediately suspects what happened. He must have noticed how Amnon thought about Tamar. He may also have seen how he looked at her. Amnon’s deed did not come out of the blue. Was Amnon perhaps known as a sexual rake?

While in Absalom plans may already arise to avenge himself, he advises his sister not to publicize it any further. She should not take this matter to heart either. This is the advice of people who have their own ideas about solving problems and do not care about God’s judgment of them. Tamar seems to follow the advice and moves into her brother’s house. There she stays as a lonely and abandoned woman whose joy of life has turned into a hopeless wilderness.

When David hears of it, he is very angry (2Sam 13:21), but that’s all (cf. 1Sam 3:13b). Nothing else comes out of his anger. He has no power to act against his son, the crown prince. Even parents of little children often have so little to say about their children. It is not about children receiving authoritarian education, but about them being brought up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4). Children are not won by exercising pure force, but by love. The Lord gives us children so that we may teach them through loving authority how to submit to His loving authority.

David is responsible for everything that happens in his home. The judgment comes not only because of his sin with Bathsheba, but also because of his sin of negligence not to act against the evil in his family.

Amnon is an unscrupulous man who knows no love. Absalom is no different. Both of them know only one kind of love and that is the love for themselves. Absalom is not only without love, but he is also cunning, mean, and can wait, if necessary two full years (2Sam 13:23). During this waiting period, the feelings of hatred remain burning in all their intensity. Meanwhile he doesn’t show any of these feelings in his dealings with Amnon. Absalom does not show anything at all, “either good or bad”. He meets the desired courtesies, without showing anything of what occupies him. If he has spoken a kind word at all, it has only been a camouflage of what lives in his heart (Psa 55:21a; Pro 26:24).

In this way, family members and members of the family of God can interact with each other in a way that is correct, but not more than that. What essentially binds them does not matter. The relationships are dominated by events that are not talked about, but in which the senses are set on a counteraction.

Absalom Kills Amnon

When two full years have passed since the events described in the previous section, Absalom organizes a party. It is a feast because of the shearing of the sheep. There are two more such celebrations in Scripture. They are not positive statements. Both these times and here there is talk of iniquity (Gen 38:12-15; 1Sam 25:4-11).

For this feast Absalom invites David and all his sons. The purpose of this feast is to kill Amnon. David objects to him and his servants going, because that will give Absalom too much work. After some insistence with David he gets the blessing of his father. This is the sign for Absalom that he can continue asking to hold the party and that then especially his “brother Amnon” will be allowed to come to the party.

As a father David is a man without a backbone. He is easy to persuade. While he is present, something is staged again, the purpose of which is hidden from him. David is a stranger in his own home. Later Jonadab says that Absalom’s face showed what he was planning to do. David does not see the consequences of his permission for the feast of Absalom, just as he did not see Amnon’s request earlier when he asked for Tamar to come to him (2Sam 13:6). The result is that he loses two sons. Amnon is killed and Absalom flees.

Absalom instructs his servants to kill Amnon when he is drunk. He knows his brother as someone who enjoys drinking wine. The servants do so at the insistence of Absalom, who as the client takes responsibility for the death of his brother. All other sons of the king flee immediately after the murder of Amnon, away from the surroundings of the murderer. The fear of also being killed has struck.