Pro 5:22-23 | KingComments | STEP | The alternative to escape the temptation of the strange woman is not compulsory total abstinence or celibacy ( ). The father points his son to his own wife. The desire for forbidden pleasures stems from dissatisfaction with blessings a person possesses. He tells him that his own wife should be enough for him ( ). In his own house he has a well that can quench his thirst. By this he means his wife. Thus with him “marriage can be held in honor and the marriage bed undefiled, for fornicators and adulterers God will judge” ( ). She satisfies his sexual desires just as water satisfies someone who is thirsty. He does not need to seek anyone else for the satisfaction of those desires ( ). The comparison with a cistern and a well points to the refreshment that sexuality provides. In arid Israel, having water is a valuable provision that gives great joy. This is a different representation of sexuality than is sometimes given that all sexual experience should be curbed and done only for the purpose of procreation. Sexual desires, it is then claimed, are far too dangerous, those flowing waters are far too powerful. But that is not the language of the Bible. God has put the desire for sexuality in man as something good. Sexual intercourse can and may be enjoyed in the bond of marriage to His glory. God has given experiencing it in marriage as a source of deep joy ( ; ; ). This is what we see in these verses. In doing so, we may see in the light of the New Testament that it is about a mystery that speaks of Christ and the church ( ). It is clearly an experience sanctified by the Word of God. Sexual desires may be developed and they may be developed for and with one’s own wife. Is it necessary to point this out? Yes, it is necessary, even if we have been married a little longer or for a long time. We must avoid any desire for a woman other than our own and ‘channel’ all desires, as it were, to our own wife. It comes down to one direction, that of one’s own wife. This also applies to the wife toward her husband. The authority or right over one another’s body ( ) may not be abused. This will not happen if the husband remembers to love his wife as Christ has loved and still loves the church ( ). It is important that the husband comes to understand his wife ( ). Therefore, husband and wife must get to know each other by communicating with each other. It is also important to be able to touch each other without sexual excitement, a touch that also occurs in the presence of others. Then sexual touch will also be an expression of love and not an abuse of the body of the other. is a difficult verse to translate, so the explanation is not easy either. The best way seems to be to read this verse as a question, as is done here: “Should your springs dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets?” An explanation that fits the framework of the verse before and the verse after it is as follows. When the husband leaves his home and his wife to go to a strange woman, he “goes abroad”, to “the streams of water in the streets”. The springs that are abroad, the woman tempting him, are available to everyone, no matter how much the woman wants to convince him that she is only there for him ( ). In comes the answer to the question of . The source of refreshment must be his own wife alone. It should not be an option that his love also goes out to a strange woman. A spiritual application is that the Lord and Him alone is enough for us. He loves us unconditionally and exclusively and counts on our unconditional, exclusive love as well ( ). True satisfaction of every desire we have is found only in the love of Christ. As we grow older, our love for our wife will not diminish, but rather increase, as will our love for Christ. The father wishes his son to be blessed in his dealings with his wife in marriage ( ). This shows that sexual joy in marriage is God-given and that he may enjoy it. The young man is called to “rejoice in the wife” of his “youth”. It is a joy that should always remain, even into old age ( ). It is complete foolishness for a man and his wife to say that they are bored with one another and therefore just start a relationship with “a strange woman”. It is a lie and a disobedience, for God calls for joy over one’s wife, just as He calls for the husband to love his wife. In the confidential dealings of the father with his son, he tells him to find in his own wife the satisfaction of his desires ( ). He points out to his son the behavior of the beloved wife, which he compares to “a loving hind and a graceful doe”. These animals move with elegance and graciousness. This is how he may look at his wife. Her breasts may enrapture him, he may become drunk with them, intoxicated by them. Unceasingly he may be exhilarated with her love, that is, he may be “caught” by it and fall under its spell. He may continually delight over her. It is a call and also an instruction to focus only on one’s own wife for the fulfillment of sexual desires. In , the father asks some rhetorical questions. If the son is in his right mind, he will not “be exhilarated with a strange woman” for a momentary connection with a temporary enjoyment of sin. Here the same word “exhilarate” is used as in the previous verse, but there it is a continual and permissible wandering. With a strange woman, there is no place and no time for intimacy. Intimacy requires a lifelong commitment to the wife of one’s youth. The sin of adultery always takes place in secret; it is a work of darkness ( ). But nothing is hidden from God ( ; ; ; ). He is not a human inspector who comes by once in a while to check on something or someone. He sees and weighs all the tracks left by an adulterer. The behavior of such a man becomes an ingrained habit. The path to the strange woman has become a well-trodden one. We can also think of the tracks of misery that are left behind, such as the effects such behavior has on children and other family members. Besides God seeing everything, He is also righteous. He knows the weight, the seriousness, of adultery and will judge the adulterer for it ( ). To “weigh” means to test, which He will do according to His standard, the law, specifically with reference to the seventh commandment: “You shall not commit adultery” ( ). The awareness that there are no secrets for God will help us not to do anything that cannot bear the light of day. An open and intimate relationship with God is an important means of keeping our human relationships pure and clean. The key to self-control is the realization that we are never alone, but that God sees us everywhere. Lack of self-control in sexual gratification makes the wicked a prisoner of his iniquities ( ). Many people think that over time they will be able to quit a particular sin. However, they have no awareness that a sin that is repeated regularly is addictive and removes any resistance to break with it. We see an example of this in Samson (although he was not a wicked man) being held captive by Delilah ( ). He is entangled in sin and is held in it and cannot free himself from it. Thus he is led to destruction. If the young man is not “captivated” by his own wife, but falls under the spell of a strange woman, his own iniquities will captivate him and he will be led to destruction. The path of the adulterer ends in death ( ). He dies “for lack of instruction”, meaning there was no instruction he listened to. It can also mean that he was without self-discipline. One who does not listen to instruction to keep himself far from an adulteress goes astray in “the greatness of his folly”. So it is not just a folly, but a great folly. For the believer, fornication or adultery is not just a sin, but a particular sin: “Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” ( ). Whoever commits “the great” folly of fornication or adultery, departs from the right path and will hopelessly go astray and die.

‏ Proverbs 5:22-23

The Joy of Faithfulness in Marriage

The alternative to escape the temptation of the strange woman is not compulsory total abstinence or celibacy (1Tim 4:3). The father points his son to his own wife. The desire for forbidden pleasures stems from dissatisfaction with blessings a person possesses. He tells him that his own wife should be enough for him (Pro 5:15). In his own house he has a well that can quench his thirst. By this he means his wife. Thus with him “marriage can be held in honor and the marriage bed undefiled, for fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (Heb 13:4).

She satisfies his sexual desires just as water satisfies someone who is thirsty. He does not need to seek anyone else for the satisfaction of those desires (1Cor 7:2-5). The comparison with a cistern and a well points to the refreshment that sexuality provides. In arid Israel, having water is a valuable provision that gives great joy.

This is a different representation of sexuality than is sometimes given that all sexual experience should be curbed and done only for the purpose of procreation. Sexual desires, it is then claimed, are far too dangerous, those flowing waters are far too powerful. But that is not the language of the Bible. God has put the desire for sexuality in man as something good. Sexual intercourse can and may be enjoyed in the bond of marriage to His glory.

God has given experiencing it in marriage as a source of deep joy (Deu 24:5; Ecc 9:9; Gen 24:67). This is what we see in these verses. In doing so, we may see in the light of the New Testament that it is about a mystery that speaks of Christ and the church (Eph 5:25-33). It is clearly an experience sanctified by the Word of God.

Sexual desires may be developed and they may be developed for and with one’s own wife. Is it necessary to point this out? Yes, it is necessary, even if we have been married a little longer or for a long time. We must avoid any desire for a woman other than our own and ‘channel’ all desires, as it were, to our own wife. It comes down to one direction, that of one’s own wife. This also applies to the wife toward her husband.

The authority or right over one another’s body (1Cor 7:4) may not be abused. This will not happen if the husband remembers to love his wife as Christ has loved and still loves the church (Eph 5:25). It is important that the husband comes to understand his wife (1Pet 3:7). Therefore, husband and wife must get to know each other by communicating with each other. It is also important to be able to touch each other without sexual excitement, a touch that also occurs in the presence of others. Then sexual touch will also be an expression of love and not an abuse of the body of the other.

Pro 5:16 is a difficult verse to translate, so the explanation is not easy either. The best way seems to be to read this verse as a question, as is done here: “Should your springs dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets?” An explanation that fits the framework of the verse before and the verse after it is as follows. When the husband leaves his home and his wife to go to a strange woman, he “goes abroad”, to “the streams of water in the streets”. The springs that are abroad, the woman tempting him, are available to everyone, no matter how much the woman wants to convince him that she is only there for him (Pro 7:15).

In Pro 5:17 comes the answer to the question of Pro 5:16. The source of refreshment must be his own wife alone. It should not be an option that his love also goes out to a strange woman.

A spiritual application is that the Lord and Him alone is enough for us. He loves us unconditionally and exclusively and counts on our unconditional, exclusive love as well (2Cor 11:2). True satisfaction of every desire we have is found only in the love of Christ. As we grow older, our love for our wife will not diminish, but rather increase, as will our love for Christ.

The father wishes his son to be blessed in his dealings with his wife in marriage (Pro 5:18). This shows that sexual joy in marriage is God-given and that he may enjoy it. The young man is called to “rejoice in the wife” of his “youth”. It is a joy that should always remain, even into old age (Ecc 9:9a). It is complete foolishness for a man and his wife to say that they are bored with one another and therefore just start a relationship with “a strange woman”. It is a lie and a disobedience, for God calls for joy over one’s wife, just as He calls for the husband to love his wife.

In the confidential dealings of the father with his son, he tells him to find in his own wife the satisfaction of his desires (Pro 5:19). He points out to his son the behavior of the beloved wife, which he compares to “a loving hind and a graceful doe”. These animals move with elegance and graciousness. This is how he may look at his wife. Her breasts may enrapture him, he may become drunk with them, intoxicated by them.

Unceasingly he may be exhilarated with her love, that is, he may be “caught” by it and fall under its spell. He may continually delight over her. It is a call and also an instruction to focus only on one’s own wife for the fulfillment of sexual desires.

In Pro 5:20, the father asks some rhetorical questions. If the son is in his right mind, he will not “be exhilarated with a strange woman” for a momentary connection with a temporary enjoyment of sin. Here the same word “exhilarate” is used as in the previous verse, but there it is a continual and permissible wandering. With a strange woman, there is no place and no time for intimacy. Intimacy requires a lifelong commitment to the wife of one’s youth.

The sin of adultery always takes place in secret; it is a work of darkness (Job 24:15-16). But nothing is hidden from God (Pro 5:21; 2Chr 16:9; Job 31:4 ; Job 34:21; Pro 15:3 Jer 16:17 ; Jer 32:19). He is not a human inspector who comes by once in a while to check on something or someone. He sees and weighs all the tracks left by an adulterer.

The behavior of such a man becomes an ingrained habit. The path to the strange woman has become a well-trodden one. We can also think of the tracks of misery that are left behind, such as the effects such behavior has on children and other family members.

Besides God seeing everything, He is also righteous. He knows the weight, the seriousness, of adultery and will judge the adulterer for it (Heb 13:4). To “weigh” means to test, which He will do according to His standard, the law, specifically with reference to the seventh commandment: “You shall not commit adultery” (Exo 20:14).

The awareness that there are no secrets for God will help us not to do anything that cannot bear the light of day. An open and intimate relationship with God is an important means of keeping our human relationships pure and clean. The key to self-control is the realization that we are never alone, but that God sees us everywhere.

Lack of self-control in sexual gratification makes the wicked a prisoner of his iniquities (Pro 5:22). Many people think that over time they will be able to quit a particular sin. However, they have no awareness that a sin that is repeated regularly is addictive and removes any resistance to break with it.

We see an example of this in Samson (although he was not a wicked man) being held captive by Delilah (Jdg 16:19-21). He is entangled in sin and is held in it and cannot free himself from it. Thus he is led to destruction. If the young man is not “captivated” by his own wife, but falls under the spell of a strange woman, his own iniquities will captivate him and he will be led to destruction.

The path of the adulterer ends in death (Pro 5:23). He dies “for lack of instruction”, meaning there was no instruction he listened to. It can also mean that he was without self-discipline. One who does not listen to instruction to keep himself far from an adulteress goes astray in “the greatness of his folly”. So it is not just a folly, but a great folly.

For the believer, fornication or adultery is not just a sin, but a particular sin: “Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” (1Cor 6:18-19). Whoever commits “the great” folly of fornication or adultery, departs from the right path and will hopelessly go astray and die.